lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
