it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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