OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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