3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
