I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
