She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
