she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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