I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
