He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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