It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
