he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
