my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
