Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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