i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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