NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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