My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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