why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
