I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
