I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
