Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
