a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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