I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.