I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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