I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
