i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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