Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
