Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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