What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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