So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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