We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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