I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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