chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Found the puke drawer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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