jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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