In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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