i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
