I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So many bounce houses so little time
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
