Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
