dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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