ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
