Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
