you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
