He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
