So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
