theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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