when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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