Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
