My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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