My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
