I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
