the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm really busy with my period
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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