That's intense
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
