i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
