You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
