He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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