I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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