I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
