I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
