Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
