You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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