When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
