You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
