I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
