I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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