You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
