i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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