I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
