Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
