Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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