Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
